


I found a love for me

by mckvch (RaiseYourVoice)



Series: Saphael Week 2017 [6]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Human, Daydreaming, Established Relationship, Fluff, Idiots in Love, Kissing, M/M, Music, Saphael Week 2017, Song Lyrics, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-22
Updated: 2017-09-22
Packaged: 2018-12-23 21:37:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11998437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RaiseYourVoice/pseuds/mckvch
Summary: Simon was barely 19 now, Raphael had just passed 17 a few weeks ago, so they were not quite kids anymore but not yet adults either but both of them were still convinced that this was it. Their relationship wasn’t just a teenager-romance or a first love that would fade away by the end of the last summer of school and maybe it was naive to think that way—maybe it was what everyone else their age was convinced of as well, only to find out their high school love had been fleeting after all—but Simon honestly didn’t care and he held on to this belief, foolish or not.“Come on, the first bell has already rung.”Simon felt his lover’s warm hand wrap around his own, pulling him to his feet and towards the large front doors of the school that just fell shut behind a few other students.





	I found a love for me

**Author's Note:**

> My contribution to the **Saphael Week 2017**.  
>  This one is for _Day 6 - Music/Quotes_.

_I found a love for me_  
_Darling just dive right in_  
_And follow my lead_  
_Well I found a boy beautiful and sweet_

Simon rested his chin in his hand, trying to keep his eyelids from drooping down after a night with little sleep thanks to the book he was addicted to lately. He was humming along to the Ed Sheeran song currently playing on his phone, absently noticing how perfectly the lyrics fit his life and his lips curled into a soft smile.

When he had been younger, Simon had always thought that he would marry Clary one day, start a happy little family together, but fate had slightly different plans. Said plans included a certain boy moving into his neighbourhood about two years after Simon’s father had passed away. A gorgeous boy with a fierce expression, incredibly strong protectiveness of his younger brothers and unruly dark curls resting against the bronze skin of his forehead, the strand gleaming like the softest silk in the sunlight.

Said boy, by the name of Raphael Santiago, had turned out to have the kindest and sweetest soul, despite his initially cold seeming demeanour. As soon as Simon had gotten to know him better, falling for Raphael had been inevitable. It had felt like the most natural and easiest thing in the world—not painful and frustrating like his one-sided crush on Clary had been.

_I never knew you were the someone waiting for me  
'Cause we were just kids when we fell in love_

At first, Simon had been convinced that it was just another one-sided thing, that someone like Raphael would never see anything more than a friend in the nerdy little boy with the too big glasses but then it had actually been him to confess to Simon. He had never seen Raphael as nervous as that day when he had stood before Simon, cheeks a soft pink and eyes downcast while muttering the confession of his feelings in rushed Spanish.

Simon was convinced that his heart had become a few sizes bigger that day, filled with even more love for this incredible boy whom he was able to call his boyfriend ever since that special day two summers ago.

 _Not knowing what it was_  
_I will not give you up this time_  
_But darling, just kiss me_ _slow, your heart is all I own_  
_And in your eyes you're holding mine_

Before Raphael had confessed, Simon had already given up on ever having his feeling reciprocated but the other boy loving him had given him a great boost of confidence over the past two years. Simon had sworn to himself that he wouldn’t give up that easily ever again—that he wouldn’t push his feelings aside ever again, especially not the ones for Raphael because the other boy was someone he would never ever want to give up on if he could help it.

“Are you still asleep?” Raphael’s soft voice interrupted Simon’s trip on memory lane, his heart skipping a beat at the unhidden sound of fond amusement in his lover’s voice.

“Psh, I’m wide awake!”

Raphael laughed, shaking his head, before leaning across the table at the side of the schoolyard and cupping Simon’s face with his hand to press a slow, sweet kiss against his lips.

Simon’s eyelids fluttered close now, for a completely different reason than the tiredness that seemed to be melting off his bones to the fluttering beat of his heart. He reached a hand up, curling it around the nape of Raphael’s neck to keep him close, sighing into the loving kiss.

 _Baby, I'm dancing in the dark with you between my arms_  
_Barefoot on the grass, listening to our_ _favorite song_  
_When you said you looked a mess, I whispered underneath my breath_  
_But you heard it, darling, you look perfect tonight_

Every time they shared such a slow, almost shy kiss, it reminded Simon of the very first press of their lips that summer night when Raphael had confessed his feelings for him. When they had sat on the soft grass in the dimly lit garden of Magnus’s family mansion, the voices and music of the party going on inside only a fading background noise.

The rather slow song that had been playing that moment had been one of Simon’s favourites, not just because it had reminded him of Raphael, and he had briefly considered asking the other boy to dance with him but he hadn’t dared to let this question past his lips. And he had been content to just sit here, their hands resting in the grass, close enough for their pinkies to brush with every tiny movement and eyes cast upwards to watch the dark sky, searching for a hint of stars.

He had sensed Raphael’s nervousness even before the other had started speaking and before they had simultaneously turned to face each other as if they were magnets that couldn’t help but turn towards one another. Simon’s eyes had almost bugged out of his head at the whispered confession—he had silently thanked his mother for teaching Rebecca and him Spanish—and when he had been silent for a breath too long, Raphael muttering an apology and how he was a little bit of a mess, the “then you’re the most perfect mess I’ve ever seen” had slipped past Simon’s lips before he had been able to swallow the words.

Time had stopped for just a split second right afterwards before Raphael’s head had snapped up, dark eyes staring at him with disbelieve and soft lips forming a perfect little o, and Simon had finally thrown caution to the wind, grabbed this beautiful boy’s face and pulled him into their first, incredibly clumsy but still perfectly sweet kiss.

_Well I found a man, stronger than anyone I know_  
_He shares my dreams, I hope that someday I'll share his home_  
_I found a love, to carry more than just my secrets_  
_To carry love, to carry children of our own_

“I love you,” Simon hummed against his boyfriend’s lips, not caring about the few odd glances from other students that were sent their way because nobody dared to throw hateful comments their way anymore. Not since Raphael—the one who was always calm, collected and in control—had punched one of the school’s biggest bullies, Sebastian, straight in the face for calling Simon degrading names and pushing him around.

One punch and a few sharp words in front of a small crowd of students had been surprisingly effective in getting Sebastian to back off, though Simon was partly convinced that Magnus had done something to help it along later as well. He honestly didn’t care too much about the reason—the most important part was the fact that a few wry looks were all the negativity their relationship had to face at school these days.

“I love you too, darling,” Raphael whispered back, his lips curving into a smile against Simon’s mouth and thumb brushing against the other’s cheekbone.

Simon wanted the table in between them to disappear, so he would be able to tug Raphael into his lap and feel him just a little bit closer, to bury his nose in the crook of his lover’s neck for a few minutes and recharge his energy some more before they had to head inside for their first lessons.

It wasn’t even a whole month left until Simon would enter this schoolyard for the last time; until he would graduate and have to prepare for university. Simon didn’t like the thought of moving away from here, even if it was only a few miles away and he could always visit on the weekends, but he still hated knowing that it would be another whole year until Raphael could follow—until he would finish school as well and could go to university as well. But it also meant that a little over a year from now they could share not only the experiences of university but also move in together, share a life, maybe get a cat (not that Simon had already started daydreaming about the possibilities).

_We are still kids, but we're so in love_  
_Fighting against all odds_  
_I know we'll be alright this time_  
_Darling, just hold my hand_  
_Be my boy, I'll be your man_  
_I see my future in your eyes_

Simon was barely 19 now, Raphael had just passed 17 a few weeks ago, so they were not quite kids anymore but not yet adults either but both of them were still convinced that this was it. Their relationship wasn’t just a teenager-romance or a first love that would fade away by the end of the last summer of school and maybe it was naive to think that way—maybe it was what everyone else their age was convinced of as well, only to find out their high school love had been fleeting after all—but Simon honestly didn’t care and he held on to this belief, foolish or not.

“Come on, the first bell has already rung.”

Simon felt his lover’s warm hand wrap around his own, pulling him to his feet and towards the large front doors of the school that just fell shut behind a few other students.

“We should just skip today, head into the city to get some ice-cream,” Simon sighed, lightly tugging at Raphael’s hand despite knowing that his request wouldn’t be accepted anyway but it was still worth a try.

“You say that every morning. If it were up to you, we wouldn’t have entered the school even once in the past weeks,” Raphael laughed and turned around to face him, lips stretched into a teasing smirk before he leant in to press them against Simon’s for a brief second. “Now, move your cute little ass or we’ll both be late!”

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, I changed the pronouns in the song because I can!


End file.
